Be somebody

         I should be happy, but I'm not. I dont know if its just today, because of that math test. I did so poorly. I was ashamed. But I've always known that I'm not good at math, so i don't think its that. Everyday I come home feeling so defeated, unworthy and like I will amount to nothing. Usually us IB kids just joke about not getting into college anywhere, but I really feel nervous that I won't get in, like anywhere. The essays our english teacher readss us, are so thoughtful and creative. One girl, who ended up going to MIT, wrote a silly essay about how awesome her hands were. another wrote from the perspective of the girl's favorite pair of sandals, and one guy wrote about facing his alter ego in a western style stand off. Who comes up with these things? How can the people who took the risk of being silly, get into to such amazing schools. Granted they have excellent test scores and recs, but cmon, alot of people have that. I have that, but I know that I don;t dazzle off the page. Listening to those essays makes me feel like I don't have any kind of personality, that I am simply a dull and dreary plain jane. All those glitter girls theyre all the same, trying to be somebody

Am I? I didn;t used to think that I was. I mean i know I'm nothing special, but I wouldn;t say that I'm boring. I am boring. Why didn't anyone tell me I was boring? I have alot of good aquaitences at school, but i dont go out on weekends, if you think about it, i literally have no regonizable talents or hobbies. I seriously don't. What do I do with my life? If I don't invent a personality soon, i won't just not get into college, i wont get anywhere in life.

I can hear that voice inside my head, only its not telling me who I am, its telling me to Be Somebody.