Sooner Surrender

Still wondering. I knew it would be hard. But I just can't get it out of my head. In my head there's this voice that says I made the right decision, and the other that says I am an idiot and I blew it because there is no way he'll take me back now after going back and forth like this three times. I wish I could just be make a decision and be happy with it but I guess I am just thinking too much and for that reason there are always pros and cons in a readily available list in my head and both sides are always about even. Divine intervention would be great right about now. Maybe that's why max randomly asked me to lunch today, to lecture me for an hour on how I'm being stupid. I could fall in love with him, and that scares me. The sooner I surrender to the truth, my feelings, then our love will count for everything.